ForeverLOVEd

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” "Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” "Come,” he said. Matthew 14:27-29 In the middle of a storm it's always hard to remember the sun shining bright in the sky before or picture it ever peaking out from the clouds again! When it's pouring rain you hunker down under your umbrella, jump the puddles, and dodge rain drops. In the middle of the storm, you stop worrying about how cute your outfit looks. In the middle of the storm, you do what you can to catch leaks in the ceiling. And sometimes in the middle of the storm there's a moment, or a day, when you start to wonder if you should just start building an arc because there's no light around the corner, the forecast is dim, and you literally think there will never be a day again when you will see the sun. I'm in the middle of a storm. The leaks are many, the raindrops heavy, and the hope f...

"The power of the Most High will overshadow you." Luke 1:35 His eyes glistened as he peered through the glass at the puppies as they played. A trip to the mall in the hectic holiday rush left our hands quite empty as none of us were in the mood to scan the shelves for treasures and our wallets weren’t encouraging us to do much of that either. So we walked from store to store unimpressed, that is until we discovered the puppies. They jumped on top of one another, bit each other’s ears, and came to the glass to look into the sweet eyes of a four year old who was enchanted. As the dogs wrestled and we all watched, my heart saw my three brothers, who so often filled our house with rough and tumble as we grew up.  What is it with boys and wrestling? Prissy me never was too fond of the let me grab you by your neck and knock you to the floor type of love, yet to this day I recognize its beauty. You have no choice when you are the sister to three brothers.  And somehow, no m...

"So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth." Revelation 3:16 As I held her hand, gently in my own, I could feel the cold. Like the ice in my cup of cola, or my feet on the tile floor early in the morning, the sting was almost shocking. And as I felt it there, the chill, I was aware of two things, while my mom's hands were frozen, I wanted to warm them with my own.  My life would be perfect, I concluded, if the thermostat always read 73 degrees. I would never feel too hot or too cold. And here in Southern California , I know I feel entitled to that perfect forecast. But then there are exciting days when the car says it's 60 and the rain drops hit my windshield and the wind howls. And there are days when my friends and I are wishing we had worn thermal underwear to the football game, and brought the blanket from the car and ordered coffee on the way because we are freezing cold. The days when that so cold California ...

I didn't see it coming, just like most of life's best moments, I did not plan it. Yet there it was, a good thing sitting right in my lap. There was a day I thought I'd never do it again. There was a moment I thought my love would be lost forever. There was a night when tears soaked my pillow and I cried myself to sleep. There was a day.  And then so often like there always is, there was a new dawn. And there I held the promise of my Father in my own two hands, like a shining birthday gift wrapped in pink polka dots and glitter. My heart twirled like it does when you get the sweetest hug from a good friend or great love. My soul sang the goodness of the Lord. And I saw that in all things, He begged for me to know life.  The chairs sat empty as I waited for beautiful faces to fill them and prayed that the Holy Spirit would let me be a vessel of God's love. I pinched myself about a thousand times to verify that this moment was not just again a vivid dream. And whi...

"But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10  I was in a state of grieving. There in the middle of despair, I found my heart mourning greatly. I did not lose a family member or a friend. I did not  have to prepare a funeral or send a card. There was no formal goodbye. But in so many ways, as the tear welled up in the corner of my eyes, I wished there had been. Maybe letting go would be easier, if I buried this loss under heaps of flowers and trusted with all my heart that now God held this thing in His own two hands.  But here I sat, grieving, a loss that scooped me up like the wind swings the leaves on a blustery day. And as I let the salty drop roll down my face, my heart broke into pieces.  Every process in life, every epic fail and great success, every moment refines us. The day I learned to make lasagna for the cute boy coming to dinner and the morning I drove to my new job for the first time or the night I thought I...

"Love consumes us only in the measure of our self-surrender."  -- St. Therese of Lisieux The dawn of a new day.  The blank page.  A fresh start.  That clean break.  The crossover between what was and what is.  Here it lands on my calendar as I look ahead to September. Two numbers, one day, and a whole lot of angst.  I never thought I'd be who I am currently the week I turned 30. I would never have told you I saw life panning out this way. Looking back, I never thought it would take me this long to get here or grow this much or figure out life. I never thought I would still be sitting on the verge of some of lives' grandest adventures.  But here I am. Ready to start the next decade, slightly sad to see the last one go, and quite aware that I am just wrapping up what could be called the best summer of my life.  And while I'll spare you all the details of my "so good" summer. I'll tell you this, I lived my last summer of my 20's as we hash-tagge...

"It is because of faith that we exchange the present for the future." -Saint Fidelis of Sigmaringen  I remember writing a poem in the sixth grade about riding my bike! We lived in Seattle at the top of a hill and I was fond of riding my bike between the green trees on summer nights, as the sun danced in pink and orange across the sky ahead of me! I would glide up and down the hill and through the streets until my mom called me inside. I loved riding my bike! I loved it so much, I wrote a poem about it.  This past week I escaped to an adorable little town off Lake Tahoe. The evergreens, and mountain air caught my heart right away. And the view, which was quite literally the type Nicholas Sparks writes about in his books, stole my breath from the get go! I spent the days in the sun with my family! We lounged in the lake, rode horses up the hills and floated on a pontoon over clear blue water. I loved every minute. But the day we arrived, I fell in love. I found there in the gar...