Refined.
"But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10 I was in a state of grieving. There in the middle of despair, I found my heart mourning greatly. I did not lose a family member or a friend. I did not have to prepare a funeral or send a card. There was no formal goodbye. But in so many ways, as the tear welled up in the corner of my eyes, I wished there had been. Maybe letting go would be easier, if I buried this loss under heaps of flowers and trusted with all my heart that now God held this thing in His own two hands. But here I sat, grieving, a loss that scooped me up like the wind swings the leaves on a blustery day. And as I let the salty drop roll down my face, my heart broke into pieces. Every process in life, every epic fail and great success, every moment refines us. The day I learned to make lasagna for the cute boy coming to dinner and the morning I drove to my new job for the first time or the night I thought I would ne