Too Soon.

"Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, Jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, The very flame of the LORD." Song of Solomon 8:6

My family has known and loved our fair share of pets! We raised three parakeets consecutively by the name of John the first, John the second, and John the third. All of which were named by my brother, who apparently was fond of the name, John. We have had fish, frogs, walking sticks and a hamster. There was a brief period where we were owners of a rambunctious lab named Griffey and a period of time when the main pet in the house was our floppy eared bunny named Brownie.  But amidst Beethoven and Madonna, there was one pet that kind of stole our hearts more than any other.

The day we brought him home, he could fit in the palm of our hand. The kind and gentle yorkie, that lived without a name for the first week we owned him, made his way into our lives and gained our love almost instantaneously. Bosley, as we called him, was the kind of dog you refer to as a man's best friend. He was a simple guy, never a bother to anyone. He would scratch at the door or side of the bed when he wanted you to let him in or pick him up. His snore was just loud enough to soothe you to sleep. He thought he was bigger than he was and was not afraid to bark away any potential harm. His one fear was the vacuum and over the years, he grew to be a huge part of our family. 

Tragically, we lost Bosley. And, even as I write this now tears are brought to my eyes as I remember the night he died. Pets have a strange way of becoming a monumental part of our lives. It has been over three years since we lost our sweet dog, and still to this very day if any one mentions him, or a pet for that matter, I immediately respond, "too soon." 

The phrase has in some way become an extension of my over dramatic attitude on life, but honestly, when it comes to Bosley, it tends to actually feel too soon. What does too soon mean? Why do I feel too sad to face what is stirred in my heart at the mention of his name, or of dogs, or pets? There is something I am afraid to face, and that is the fact that never again will I walk in the door and be greeted by the sound of his feet wobbling on the hardwood floor. When Bosley died, I lost a true companion, and I think for me, it was my first real experience of heartbreak. 

Dogs, pets, become a part of our homes. They are there for the good and the bad, everyday in and out of months and years. We tell them our problems, cry with them by our sides, pet them as we watch tv, and share with them in some way or another our hearts. I feel like it is impossible to have a pet and not love them. Even when we do not want them too, they quickly with their loyalty and cute looks gain our hearts. And that is why when we have to say good bye, it hurts so much. 

The day Bosley died, my family knew it would be a long process to ever consider letting another pet into our lives. Our hearts ached in sadness. We faced hurt. And began to wonder why we would ever want own a dog again? It hurt too much to love. It was too hard to say goodbye. 

It has been three years since we have owned a dog. And for three years, I never really felt like it was worth the heartache. But for some reason as I made my Christmas list this year, I considered what it might be like to ask for a new dog. And who knows maybe that dog is in our future, but what it made me realize is that even when it feels like it will always be "too soon", the time will come when the heart longs to love again. 

We were conditioned to love. And yes, loving is a risk. And yes, it leaves our hearts broken from time to time. But as long as we live, I think our heart, will lead us to love again. Sure, there will be times when you feel it is "too soon". Days will leave you with too fresh of wounds to risk again. But the time will come when you will have to open your heart back up, let people, or a  dog, or love back into your life. People will disappoint you, relationships will fail, pets will die, and tragedy will strike, but you love anyways. You open your heart back up to the possibility of fully knowing someone else, of making them a part of your life, because as hard as the moments of goodbye can be, the hope of love and the joy it brings cannot be outdone. 

God calls us to love, not because it is easy but because it is how we seek and lead each other to Heaven. Love is not merely pleasure, but work and commitment, and trust. We walk the path of love mirroring the love of Christ. It is a call in our hearts to let people, or pets, into our worlds. To let them know us in vulnerability and let them be fully who they are with us. God did not send His son to show us love because it was easy, because it did not cost Him anything, because it would not require work. He sent His son to earn for us eternal life in Heaven. We walk the journey today to aim all our lives at that one desire as well. Love is our path to Heaven. And it seems to me it is never "too soon" to start taking the steps to get there. 

I do not know what pain love has left in your heart, what hurt you have felt, or what moments seem "too soon" to talk about for you. But what I do know is, the time will come when you know your heart is ready to risk again, and willing to make a move towards Heaven, and towards love. Let your heart heal, but do not pass up the opportunity to let love back in either. The time has to come when it is not longer too soon. Your heart wants to love, it was made for that. You were made for Heaven and when you put things in that perspective, perhaps opening your heart to love cannot happen soon enough! 

Pray that God shows your heart to love, even when it is afraid. There is more waiting for you and sometimes it is just a wish for a dog on the Christmas list away!