Dear Frozen Heart...a letter of LOVE.

Dear Frozen Heart, 

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." 1 John 4:16

Stop for a second and consider what it means to be frozen. We freeze food to preserve it, put frozen water or packs of peas on injuries to cut down the swelling, and if you ever heard your mom or dad yell "Freeze" at the end of the sidewalk, you knew it meant to stop dead in your tracks. With the weather on the East Coast dropping buckets of snow and the hit movie by this title stealing box office attention, perhaps my mind began to remember what it means to be frozen. 

The movie had been in the theaters for months, and I still had not made my way to see it. But after days of hearing the girls belt the songs on the yard and watching the boys light up at the mention of its' name, I knew there was something different about this princess movie. Something was alive inside as the kids talked about the story. Something excited my heart as I listened to the soundtrack. Something said there was a deeper meaning then just an icy princess and some clever songs. And so finally, I went to see FROZEN. 

And it's true, hidden amidst the bright colors and hilarious trolls was a message of hope for a nearly frozen heart. You see the princess in the story had all the power in the world at her finger tips, but fearful of destroying everything, she kept it hidden and isolated herself from everyone. Only an act of true love could prevent destruction at the tips of her fingers. And, spoiler alert, I could not be more thrilled that, for once, the romantic love with a prince did not save the day, but rather the true love she shared with her sister. The movie resonated with my heart, because I knew what it felt to be like that princess with a frozen and fearful heart. And with the beat of the music I could feel my heart longing to feel alive again. 

Love is a funny thing. Depending on how we look at it, it can be what brings us to life or destroys us completely. It is like the power at our finger tips. 

As I watched, I knew, my heart was pretty frozen. I too stood paralyzed in fear. The power I have in love alone is almost overwhelming....if I open my heart, what if I go too far? What if I love someone who does not love me back? Or love the wrong people and abandon those who love me? What if I destroy myself or my family and friends, or someone else's heart in the process? 

Love, it means being vulnerable. It means letting go of yourself for the benefit of someone else. It means letting someone in. And it is terrifying. Love is letting down your walls. But sometimes, when you love, you end up hurt. Surely, in the past love had let me down. Friendships had been broken. Relationships became toxic. I had seen love hurt myself and others. And whether I ever knew it or not, I started to build up walls around my heart. I started to believe I could not rely on someone to guard my heart and that my heart did not have enough to offer someone else. I started to freeze. Ice built up.

And there in the center of an iced formed box sat a heart too afraid to let anyone in; chunks of ice so hard no one could break through. And the truth is, it seemed better that way. Better to block out everything than risk feeling something that hurt. My heart was content in this isolation. Here it stayed, beating lightly. Cold. But I was not afraid of letting anyone down and not worried about not being enough. I no longer felt pressure to be bold, courageous, or spectacular. My heart stood there, beating just enough to keep me alive.

And then this thing happened. A strange experience for a frozen heart. Have you ever heard the phrase,"melts my heart"? Well my heart was reminded of something bigger than myself, it was reminded of what it is to LOVE. Nothing crazy at first, just a small reminder from God in the sun peaking through the clouds, a moment of realizing He had a bigger plan for me, the smallest prayer; tiny "melt my heart" kind of moments. And slowly, as I let God back into my life, and my heart, He melted away that frozen wall. He sent a genuine friend or a tear jerking laugh, just enough to remind me, it was ok to feel. It was ok to be vulnerable. It was ok to love and be loved. And the more I knew this idea of love the more I desired it. And suddenly I was there helping shovel the piles of ice off my heart. Suddenly, I was fighting to feel again, even if I knew I might get hurt. 

My heart is really no different than any of yours, I have lived and learned. I have felt aches and joys. But the biggest risk I think a heart can take is remaining frozen. There is a desire in all of us to know love. The second we start building walls because of mistakes and misfortunes, is the moment we stop ourselves from being fully loved. Not everyone will love you the way you deserve, and sometimes your heart will have to discover that, sometimes your heart will have to walk away. But God will always love you the way you deserve. And until you start clearing a path to the very center of your being, you will not be able to know or feel that! 

The smallest pathway in the snow is enough to let the King of the Universe melt away that useless ice.

The words of that song my girls sing everyday say "let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore". And as four year olds belt it, I smile and see in them a heart so willing to experience everything that lies ahead. They sing like they live, holding nothing back. How different would our lives be if we let the love of God into our hearts like that and in time let go all those things that stop us from being love to the world.

Your heart is too precious to be frozen. Let God shine His light in and start melting down walls. 

Love and prayers, 

Danielle