Dear Real Man...a letter of CHASTITY.

Dear Real Man, 

LOVE "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7  

I will admit it. I am a lover of the bad boy persona. For as long as I can remember, I have been intrigued, almost captivated, by the boy who stood out for being a trouble maker, way cool, or just bad enough. Somewhere in my heart, my longing for love led me to these boys who were from the start TROUBLE. What the heck was wrong with me? 

All my life, I have struggled to trust. Too many times in my life I have been let down by men. Growing up, when I needed them to come through on my behalf, they did not. And in my heart I built a defense. I let myself fall, but never for the right type of man. I let myself be intrigued by the bad boy, and blind to the real man. 

It is easy not to be disappointed by someone who you expect to let you down. It is easy to accept someone treating you poorly, when that's what you expect from them. It is easy to be fooled by good looks and sacrifice love for lust. I was blinded by physical attraction, a false reality, and the idea that any relationship would be better than none at all. 

And I am beyond blessed to know that God showed me, I was wrong. 

My heart so desires love. I want to be heard, and accepted, treasured, and valued for who I am as a woman and person. I want to be that love for a man. And prove to myself, that I have the ability in my heart to let go enough to fall in love with a real man. But at the end of the day, it's a matter of trust. And I have to ask myself, do I trust God enough to make that dream possible? Will I let God show me a man I can trust? 

I feel like I have grown up so much in my desires for love. What I saw as a real man then, is not what I see as a real man now. What my heart thought was love then, is not what I know it is now. And I feel like God has led me to know trust in Him. 

Love is patient. Love is kind. The words are carved in a bracelet that sits around my wrist every day. And I look down and remind myself of the love Christ desires for me. It is not a love that's rushed, or rude. It is not a love that is forced. Or a love that is selfish. God desires a real love for me. He desires a pure love. And He has shown me that I desire the same things for myself. He has shown me that that love exists and that it's a love worth waiting for, worth fighting for, and worth living for. It's a love I can trust in. 

If you asked me today to tell you the one thing I want from love; I would answer with this, heaven. More than anything in the world, I know that's the purpose for which  my heart was made. Knowing that, knowing what I desire for myself and for my future husband, I can see more clearly the man God has created for me to love. And I am happy to say, I know he exists. 

My heart is set on a heaven. A man alone will never be enough. But my prayer is that God continues to reveal in my heart a more pure perspective as to what it means to love like Christ. I pray that He helps me surrender more of myself today to love the people in my life. I pray that someday soon, He helps me let go of more of myself to love a real man. I pray that as time goes by, He reveals a deeper form of love to me through motherhood and children. I pray that He shows me how to choose to love after years of marriage. And how to love someone all the way to heaven.

My hearts knows real love from a real God. And I'm excited to make steps everyday to be more aware of that love in my life and one day discover how that love turns into real love with a real man. 

I cannot imagine what it will look like to completely give my life to someone else. I cannot imagine watching a real man become my real husband. But I think that's the beauty of love, it is a capacity of our hearts that even we cannot expect. 

Sometimes I feel like I wasted time on the wrong boys. But I know in each of them, God has shown me more and more of the beauty of real men. I am not going to settle for anyone who is not a real man. I'm holding out for a hero, a pure example of love to the world in the way he loves me as a husband and the way he loves his children as a father. I'm holding out for a hero, who is a genuine source of God's love to every person. And I am so thankful that God has shown me that a trouble making boy is not that man for me.

So to the real man, the one God has created for me...to the man who I will marry one day, thank you. Thank you for your goodness. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for being someone I can trust. You have taught me what love is, and heaven is all the more real for me as result of that. My heart has longed to love you always. Thank you for being patient with me. I pray that everyday God builds in you courage, truth, and strength. I thank Him for allowing me to open my eyes to discover you and for allowing you to believe in me. Thank you for proving that good guys are real, and worth waiting for and for being genuinely you. Thank you for being the man I need. I pray that I can love you all the way to heaven. Thank you for loving me all the way to heaven too! My heart is more perfectly God's, because you have given me a reason to give it to you. 

Love and prayers ALWAYS, 

Danielle