Maintenance Required.

Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways. Proverbs 23:26

I can't stand it. The click click cllliickk. The flashing light on the dashboard. The sputtering of a motor that has made one too many trips. I can't stand the car troubles that come with being a car owner. 

After I send the, "I wish I had a husband who could take care of my car" text, and make the reluctant "Sure, take my entire month's pay to fix my car" agreement, I am annoyed that the car is something I just cannot fix on my own. No matter how many owners manuals I read or YouTube videos I watch, I do not and probably never will be able to fix the car. And for someone who wants instant results and the freedom a car brings, that's quite the predicament. Cars are just one of those things, unless you are a mechanic, or a car person, they require maintenance and an expert.  

But to be quite frank, I hate having to rely on someone else. My trust is fragile, and even just with a car, I am skeptical about leaving it in hands that are not my own. I wonder if they are over charging me, rushing the job, and tightening every bolt just enough. 

But I do it. Because I want my car to run.

My heart. I want my heart to run too. I want it to beat for someone else. I want it to take me places I could never get with my own two feet. I want my heart to bring me a freedom like I have never had before. But, I am not an expert with cars and I am not an expert with hearts either.

I think most of the time I act like I can take care of my heart on my own. I pretend I know what makes it run, what causes it to beat, and what it needs most. But the truth is, I have no idea. And some days as a result I just let it sit in the driveway. I'm too scared to bring it to the expert and say, "It's not running like it should, help me!"

Slowly, though I think the expert has started proving His trust. Showing me small ways He is healing my heart. Giving me small unexpected moments that make it beat a little faster and a little stronger. Slowly, He is showing me that He has been the expert all along. And as He slowly shows me this, I slowly fork over more of my heart to Him. I trust Him a little more. I rely on His direction. I give a little more of the paycheck, of my time, and of myself to see what He has planned. And every time my heart comes back to me fuller than I could ever imagine. 

There's this book about the most adorable bird who falls out of its nest. In a quest to find its mother, he asks every animal, "Are you my mother?" Much to his disappointment; the horse, the cow, and the dog are not his mother. He is in despair and lost. Where is his mother? Finally, the bird is plopped back in his nest, right where he started, and his mom returns to find him there! 

I walk around like the bird, trying to find my heart in everyone, and everything, else. I hope maybe this friendship, or that song, or this guy will fix it. But what I have found out is, that in the midst of my searching, God grabbed me and said, "It's me. I'm the one you are looking for and I know what you need!" And the beauty is, when I let God have my heart, EVERYTHING else just works! 

It's not always easy to give your heart to someone else. Trust me, I know. And it takes a lot of searching to figure out that you've always had a home in Him! But there is this guy I know, He's pretty great with hearts. He fixes mine every time. I do not always know what I am doing when I bring my heart to God, most of the time I could not even tell you what's wrong with it but, an expert, they will know what you need before you even ask. Give Him your heart. And hold on, because it will come back fuller than it's ever been. 

Heavenly Father, here's my heart, have it all. Make it beat for Your cause, let it love on Your behalf, and keep it running strong in Your hope.