In Full Effect.

"Love consumes us only in the measure of our self-surrender." 

-- St. Therese of Lisieux

The dawn of a new day. 

The blank page. 

A fresh start. 

That clean break. 

The crossover between what was and what is. 

Here it lands on my calendar as I look ahead to September. Two numbers, one day, and a whole lot of angst. 

I never thought I'd be who I am currently the week I turned 30. I would never have told you I saw life panning out this way. Looking back, I never thought it would take me this long to get here or grow this much or figure out life. I never thought I would still be sitting on the verge of some of lives' grandest adventures. 

But here I am. Ready to start the next decade, slightly sad to see the last one go, and quite aware that I am just wrapping up what could be called the best summer of my life. 

And while I'll spare you all the details of my "so good" summer. I'll tell you this, I lived my last summer of my 20's as we hash-tagged it last September, in full effect at 29. 

In full effect, what does that look like? Perhaps it could mean saying yes more often. Or taking a leap of faith. Maybe full effect is going all the way for one goal or trying a million new things. I think the beauty is, living in full effect could mean a million different things. It's something different to you, I'm quite certain, than it is to me. And rightfully should be. 

So as I ponder the full effect of my single for the summer vibes, I stop to tell you this one truth; Life is best lived in full effect. 

I have ran, skipped, danced, and sung my way through June, July, and August knowing more joy and more goodness than a girl could dream of. I jumped off the top deck of a pontoon, saw more country artists play live than you could count on two hands, discovered the fruits of a budding ministry, captured sunsets and big waves, hugged family, shed tears, slept under the stars, and loved every single second. I got to play, a lot, and I'm lucky. But I think what I loved most about this summer in particular was, whatever I did, I lived it to the fullest. 

That's the gift God has given me, this small treasure in my own life, I get to live. Fully. Totally. Completely. I get to live, for me, for my journey, for my forever with Him. What beauty it is to no longer worry about this drama, or that image, or what is politically correct? How lucky am I to discover I love the water, hate camping, and can live on chips and salsa? I have spent so much of my life trying to be more like everyone else, and fit in, and play by the rules of the world, and this summer I found out the life God is calling me to live, in full effect, may not fit in that box. Sure God wants me to love and be love but first above all else, God wants me to see how madly in love with me He is, because He created me, He knows me, and He shows me over and over,in every little moment of my living, His love and care. He'd move mountains to help me know it. 

Living in full effect at 29 is just the start, I've got a ways to go, but every day and in every opportunity I pray I live more boldly, not for you, or the guy, or the dream career, but for me the girl that's another year closer to heaven and a little less afraid to start experiencing tastes of it on earth.

Truth be told, as I finish writing, I am literally packing for the next adventure He has calling my name, I sit in awe, because I feel like the luckiest girl on earth, and for the first time in my whole life, I feel like a girl worthy of that title. 

So here's to living in full effect...at 30 (Ahh!) or however old or young you are...