Awe and Wonder.

"Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it” – Salvador Dali

The first time I went, I hated it. For a perfectionist who's greatest fear is rejection, the pressure was too much to bear. My line dancing was not up to par. And the day we had arrived to strut our stuff, we got kicked off the dance floor multiple times. It was the WORST; humiliation at its finest. We were not qualified with our two left feet and here "just for fun" attitude. That was the first time. 

When I opened the invite and saw the gathering there at this same place, I cringed. But I would show up because I loved the people, and good country music on a Thursday night. I, however had predetermined that I'd never hit the dance floor! What I have come to know however is that my predetermination is often false. 

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If you stopped in my office any day this week you might think I am crazy. There are scissors and glue everywhere, a collection of boxes complete enough to reach hoarder status, and pool noodles, scraps of paper, and rolls of tape flung across the tables and floor. It looks like a local craft store and the back yard shed have merged together in a collision of bright colors, random junk, and the makings of a FUN FACTORY. 

•••

This theme, that dance floor, and perhaps a million other life circumstances are bombarding me with this resounding message. So here I am hot gluing cups to make legos and duck taping on robot ears and the whole point is to make it look homemade.  But, it's so hard when I want it to be perfect. So I tape and re-tape trying to add a piece of my oh so cute perfection to a rocket ship that is meant to look anything but perfect. And I try to channel my inner child who might just slap the letters on a page or cut a jagged line. And I literally have a panic attack as I do. Becuase for me, even the child's project, was made to be perfect.

Somewhere I got it wrong. Somewhere I told myself that we were meant to only color in the lines, and to hide the dots of glue. Somewhere I was made to believe perfect was beautiful. And even scarier...ONLY perfect was beautiful. 

As God would have it though, the message I get to deliver all summer long at Vacation Bible School, and Thank You Dinners, and Leader Trainings is that we were "Created by God AND Built for a Purpose." And here's the beautiful thing, everything was created by God. And everything is beautiful. And if you walked into our tangled mess of creation in progress you'd see that even things that look like junk can turn into cogs and wheels, fancy letters, and sweet robots. All it takes is a little imagination, a lot of duck tape, and a heart to see beyond the obvious. Of course for me, it takes a lot of letting go of perfection too. But I think God designed it that way! I get to take the imperfect and see how it's adorable, and sometimes more so even, with imperfect shapes, sizes, paint, tape, and glue. 

•••

The second time we showed up to dance, I was a nervous wreck. There were two reasons; first, I knew I could not dance and second, I knew heart would want to anyways. When my friend reached across the table to grab me and join her to hit the floor, my predetermination was out the door.  As my feet moved forward, my mind told me no. And then my friend met my hesitations with the secret, "Just try your best." The beat of the music played all around me as I watched her kick her feet then turn in circles and clumsily attempt to follow along. And then I was dumbfounded by her absolute beauty. Her dancing was not perfect, but it was hers, and she was giving it all she had. Time stood still in that moment as I thanked God for this friend who constantly was happy with who God had built her to be and was never afraid to show it; this friend made me desire beauty in my own life, even if that meant letting my feet scramble and my flaws show. 

•••

When we were little we built forts and did dance shows and drew pictures that probably were the polar opposite of perfect. But to us kids, in those moments, they were the BEST things ever created. Our faith calls us to be child like, to believe in things we cannot always see, and to trust beyond logic. Our faith calls us to live in the FREEDOM I felt that night on the dance floor and the FREEDOM that our childhood days left us playing in. It's a type of freedom that asks not for perfection but imagination. It's a freedom that is not a finished product but the commitment to progress. It's the freedom that looks at a set of boxes stacked to make a rocket ship or a two stepping fool and says,"That's amazing". It's the freedom to look at the world with awe and wonder. Because, my friends, it's the freedom to be, and feel, and see how God created us, not with boundaries or defined boxes, but with limitless and relentless beauty.