Pressure. Heat. Layers.

"Christ does not force our will, He only takes what we give Him. But He does not give Himself entirely until He sees that we yield ourselves entirely to Him." St. Therese of Avila 

Well, it's happening. I think these three words to myself multiple times a day. I shake my head in awe, smile slightly, and wonder to myself how, as I make my way through the rush hour traffic running from one place to another. But here it is and here it is working. 

This fall has been the most insane, overwhelming, and beautiful journey.  In pursuit of my teaching credential, I am student teaching full time. This is a job I knew I could handle alongside my full time job, when my job was what it had been for three years.  What none of us knew was that our office would be taking on twice as much work, creating a whole new program for a whole new population, and be down a coworker due to a fluke injury. Most days I leave my house at seven in the morning and return around nine in the evening. I take home my work, write lesson plans, and some nights end up delusional as country love songs sing me to sleep. I've  been on the brink of tears, anxiety has peaked it's familiar face my way, and yet, nothing has been too much. 

And what's more is, I find countless blessings in each day. My mornings are started with fourth graders shouting hello and sweet compliments about "how beautiful I look". I spend my days sharing in science experiments, fairytales, and math on white boards.  I leave hope in the students as I share what I see in them and they do the same for me. I love it. And truly enjoy every second. Then I rush off to more love. I find sweet smiles from volunteers and kind moments where people invest in me. They are anxious to hear about my day and lend their support. The piles of papers to go through on my desk are much lighter than they could be as a generous gal takes her afternoons to come in and help. We have conversations full of life and laugh at how crazy things are these days. And then even though I have twenty emails to answer and calls to return, I say, but it's all happening. I share a salad with my boss before we rush off to another meeting. We leave long after the sun has gone down and smile all the way to our cars. My cup overflows. 

And I wonder, how is it all happening? 

In fourth grade science we are learning all about rocks and minerals. Yesterday, we discovered how rocks are formed. These three words sum it up; layers, heat, and pressure. So as I taught my kids these things with snickers bars and juggled a million other things in the back of my mind, I felt kind of like one of those rocks. I am under a little bit of pressure, a little bit of heat, and supported by a million layers; most profound my faith in a God who provides exactly what we need. Here God is, rocking my world. 

He is rocking my world in the PRESENT living He is allowing me to grow through. When life was comfortable and my work load very manageable, I never had to rely on anyone else. I could get everything done, on time, and to perfection. But when your cup overflows, you have to share a little bit of that load with someone else. You have to let other people in. And you have to let some things go. Nothing matters really but the present moment and the people I get to love then. And every night I  lay my head on my pillow and know that whatever was meant to be done that day was done. It's not because I can do it all or make it all happen. I would be in a meltdown now if it were. No, it's because He can do it all and make all that He desires happen. And I have to be honest, nothing else but this wild ride I'm on could teach me that. 

So, say yes to the pressure every now and then and let the heat set fire to your soul because God is in both.  Give Him a little more of your life, hold onto a faith as solid as rock, and start to see that He is layered in everything.