KNOW the REAL GOD.
“It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
After I had ordered the most complicated array of coffees and pastries, the barista proceeded to attempt the flirt with me. Shy as can be, I was thrown off by his attempts and laughed it off, because quite frankly I did not know what else to do. I guess I am sort of a dork when it comes to these matters and my "play it cool" responses never quite come across as cool. My mom says men flirt with me, or at least attempt to, all the time. I tend not to notice or brush it off as just an extra nice guy. And while she seems to think I come across as rude when I do not flatter their attempts, I would rather not notice than realize they are "flirting" and head into panic mode.
So the fact that I am weird is obvious, but why is it that flirting, or perhaps failed attempts at it, have me squirming in my seat?
I read somewhere the other day that introverts hate small talk and, if it was not obvious, I'm sort of an introvert. And I was certain that I fit into this category of hating small talk. I do not really care what you ate for breakfast or what you feel about the weather. If I care about you, I want to know so much more. And so flirting, glorified small talk, kind of does the same thing for me. It is awkward to handle because it is so artificial. And I try, my hardest, to be polite and know that maybe the intentions of the flirt are good. But for the most part I do not feel comfortable buying in because my heart knows they do not care about me anymore than they do about the next girl that comes in.
After several movie nights had past and we still had not watched, our friend finally sat us all down to view, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As a writer, watching a story about a writer and as a girl, looking for the love that God knows I deserve, I was intrigued from the start.
One particular scene stood out to me. The girl in the film explained to the boy that just being someone's crush was not enough. She explained how she needed more and that she wanted someone to love her for who she was, the real her. And maybe that is why the whole flirting situation is so confusing to me. It is not enough.
The best flirts I have ever known have an ability to bring it beyond small talk. They go deeper. They ask more profound questions. They share of themselves and exchange personal stories. And attempt to get to know the real you.
How many times to we attempt to get to know the real God? Are we just flirting with the idea of Him? Do we just brush the surface questions? God, can be so much like another customer at the coffee shop. When He is there in front of us, we take our shot to get to know Him. But the second we forget about His presence we move on to the next object of our affection. It is not enough. It is not enough to just have a crush. It is not enough to just see the good about God and refuse to see what is real. Can you love someone who you do not even really know? You can long to love a stranger, even flirt with them if the occasion presents itself. But we are not seeking a passing relationship with God. We are after a lifelong covenant. And to build that, you have to go so much deeper than the surface level flirting. It's a day in and day out process of discovering who the other is and who you are as a result.
Do not settle for small talk with God. Do not just make attempts to flirt when you know He is there. Seek out the parts of Him that are not obvious. Ask deeper questions and share more of you. If there is any relationship that's evidence of real love, it's our relationship with Christ. It's not a love we deserve, but it's certainly a love that He will give to us anyways and it's certainly a love worth pursuing. KNOW the REAL GOD.
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
After I had ordered the most complicated array of coffees and pastries, the barista proceeded to attempt the flirt with me. Shy as can be, I was thrown off by his attempts and laughed it off, because quite frankly I did not know what else to do. I guess I am sort of a dork when it comes to these matters and my "play it cool" responses never quite come across as cool. My mom says men flirt with me, or at least attempt to, all the time. I tend not to notice or brush it off as just an extra nice guy. And while she seems to think I come across as rude when I do not flatter their attempts, I would rather not notice than realize they are "flirting" and head into panic mode.
So the fact that I am weird is obvious, but why is it that flirting, or perhaps failed attempts at it, have me squirming in my seat?
I read somewhere the other day that introverts hate small talk and, if it was not obvious, I'm sort of an introvert. And I was certain that I fit into this category of hating small talk. I do not really care what you ate for breakfast or what you feel about the weather. If I care about you, I want to know so much more. And so flirting, glorified small talk, kind of does the same thing for me. It is awkward to handle because it is so artificial. And I try, my hardest, to be polite and know that maybe the intentions of the flirt are good. But for the most part I do not feel comfortable buying in because my heart knows they do not care about me anymore than they do about the next girl that comes in.
After several movie nights had past and we still had not watched, our friend finally sat us all down to view, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As a writer, watching a story about a writer and as a girl, looking for the love that God knows I deserve, I was intrigued from the start.
One particular scene stood out to me. The girl in the film explained to the boy that just being someone's crush was not enough. She explained how she needed more and that she wanted someone to love her for who she was, the real her. And maybe that is why the whole flirting situation is so confusing to me. It is not enough.
The best flirts I have ever known have an ability to bring it beyond small talk. They go deeper. They ask more profound questions. They share of themselves and exchange personal stories. And attempt to get to know the real you.
How many times to we attempt to get to know the real God? Are we just flirting with the idea of Him? Do we just brush the surface questions? God, can be so much like another customer at the coffee shop. When He is there in front of us, we take our shot to get to know Him. But the second we forget about His presence we move on to the next object of our affection. It is not enough. It is not enough to just have a crush. It is not enough to just see the good about God and refuse to see what is real. Can you love someone who you do not even really know? You can long to love a stranger, even flirt with them if the occasion presents itself. But we are not seeking a passing relationship with God. We are after a lifelong covenant. And to build that, you have to go so much deeper than the surface level flirting. It's a day in and day out process of discovering who the other is and who you are as a result.
Do not settle for small talk with God. Do not just make attempts to flirt when you know He is there. Seek out the parts of Him that are not obvious. Ask deeper questions and share more of you. If there is any relationship that's evidence of real love, it's our relationship with Christ. It's not a love we deserve, but it's certainly a love that He will give to us anyways and it's certainly a love worth pursuing. KNOW the REAL GOD.
I LOVE this post! I feel like so many Christian girls can relate to this including myself. Thank you for being authentic and real! xoxo
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