My favorite.

The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness. Jeremiah 31

My favorite. Naturally all of us are allowed preferences over one thing or another. Even just today, I filled out a list of all my favorite things for Secret Santa at work.The blanks on my page were filled with coffee, chocolate and the famous "In and Out Burger". For one reason or another, my taste buds and unique likes had me writing down these things. And to be honest, I would be thankful to receive any of them as a gift. Have you ever noticed how much of our lives are spent deciding what we like and what we do not? 

Drive thru windows, alone, leave us with a ton of options. You can buy the same shirt in ten different shades, of pink. The world is an open array of options that best fit what we "want". 

However, sometimes, when we are lucky, we are gifted beyond our means by a God who knows so perfectly what we need.  Sometimes those things that become our favorites are truly a result of God working in our lives through them. Maybe God spoke to you in a book that now holds the spot on your list as your favorite. Or maybe Sundays have become your favorite day of the week because of the Eucharist. I am sure if you thought about your favorite Bible story, God has worked to speak to you in it. And when you look back on your best memories, God is probably present in those too. You see, when we know and recognize God in everything, we start to see how He has shaped every aspect of our lives, even our own picks as favorite. 

So while my list of favorites is extensive, and most likely heavily influenced by God, there is one favorite that tops all the rest. My favorite example of the love of God. My favorite laugh. My favorite hug. My favorite friend. My favorite supporter. And my favorite person in all the world. And that favorite entered my life in the form of a chubby blonde baby boy named Sean. 

When Sean entered our world we had no idea how much he would change it. But he did. And for this I give thanks to God.  Sean is Autistic. And growing up with a brother with autism was certainly not always a piece of cake. But, Sean has been without a doubt the one person that constantly reminds me of who I am and who God wants me to be! 

Sean has always been the number one blessing and biggest challenge for my family! We have never been "normal". We have had to live our lives differently because of Sean. He has made us cancel plans and had us stared at in public plenty of times. But he has also made us laugh more than anyone else and brought out the parts of us that are compassionate, patient, and deep down childlike. 

I used to think the greatest gift I had in Sean was his love for me. See, Sean is an example to me of God's unfailing love. Sean is the one person I never feel like I disappoint or let down. He never gets mad at me, or tells me off, or stops talking to me! He loves me every single day, just the same as the day before. Completely. Because I am his sister and he does not need me to be anything more or anything less. Sean let's me be me, and in that I see the love of God. 

But my world shattered on Friday night, when MY FAVORITE lay in a hospital gown, propped up on a stuffy mattress, with wires sticking out from every portion of his head. His eyes were sunken and his expression weak. His favorite Wendy's was not even enough to perk him up. I never saw the kid refuse a cheeseburger, let alone one from Wendy's, but he did not eat it that night. Sean was staying there overnight after an incident that had the doctors suspecting he had a seizure. For the first time in my life, I had seen Sean so vulnerable. My heart ached. And my eyes filled with tears. All I could do was squeeze his hand and kiss his forehead over the edge of the hospital bed. I do not think I realized then, but something in my heart changed as I pleaded with God to protect my sweet boy. 

My whole life, I have known without a doubt that Sean was given to us from God for a reason. And for much of this time, I thought so much of that had to do with the love he had shown to me. But as we waited and waited and waited for answers, I saw God reveal yet again another gift that Sean had given to me. The ability to love unconditionally like God. 

I think it is easy to know of this idea of unconditional love. But when we are called to live it, what a challenge? Our hearts have trouble loving despite the fact that there may be nothing in it for us. 

Sean, however, has helped me to forge the way to unconditional love. There are days, trust me, when it would be so much easier to just throw in the towel, but I cannot -and I will not, I love him too much. Having Sean in my world, is not always easy, but God has placed him right next to me on the journey and showed me so much of what loving someone really means. The hard days, the good days, I treasure them all with Sean. He is my favorite, always has been, and always will be, and through that God has moved me to get beyond myself and start living to show His love to others despite the response I receive. 

I know Sean loves me and wants me to be happy, but the truth is, on some days he cannot say that to me or show me. But that no longer matters. Love cannot always be about how you feel, or what you want, and  I think that is what makes it so great. When you start to know GOD more and more, and continue to love vulnerably and completely, I think you will be surprised, your FAVORITE moments might become the times you can love someone else. 

All of us can be moved by our own desires. We can go through our days deciding based on what we want. We can love only those that earn our love. But I think God wants a deeper adventure for us. And somewhere along the way, if we let Him, I think God reveals to us the things that really matter to our hearts, our more meaningful favorites. He gave me the nickname for Sean as "my favorite" so long ago I do not even remember. And maybe that had something to do with Sean's big dimples and the cute way he giggles, but more than that, I think God had it in mind that Sean would be one of my favorite ways to discover Him. 

What are God's favorite ways of speaking to you? How are your favorite things leading you closer to heaven? I think the answers may be more obvious than you think. Let God speak.