Woven.

The For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25 

I can't take anymore advice. Yes, I know, I am old, clearly single, not producing babies, and quite frankly not even exactly sure of my purpose in life. But I might be sick if I read another blog on how to get the guy or see another article on the top ten ways to seal the kiss. I get sweaty just thinking about the 50 I'm engaged, just got married or pregnant Instagrams that flood my feed every day. My heart melts a little every time I get asked about when I am going to FINALLY find my man. And perhaps I bring it upon myself, because I want those things in my life too! I ask you for your tips for love. I want to hear your fairytale. I want someone to look me in the eye and say you will get your turn, and actually believe them. But, suddenly I realized what I want more than that is to stop listening to everyone else's advice and just be myself. 

Winter is 60 degrees here in California. And while the sun still shines away, I looked to a children's book that sat with the collection on my shelf. The story of The Mitten. As the story goes, a boy asks his grandmother for white mittens. And when he loses the mittens in the snow, as his grandma said he would, the animals pile in to shield themselves from the cold. One after another they squeeze their way into a mitten that barely has enough space. And the other animals keep making room because they are terrified about what the newest animal might do with their claws or teeth. Squeezing in a little tighter, there is just enough space. That is, until the bear sneezes and the mitten flies into the air only to be noticed again by the little boy who returns home. And to his grandmothers delight has with him his white mitten! 

Maybe my love story is kind of like that mitten. I asked God for it so long ago that I often forget He has woven it together perfectly. And when I feel the cold of winter, when I feel like I have lost it in the snow, I let every one and everything else in. I hear the what I should bes and the what I could dos. I read the pages of advice and tips to the trade of falling in love. And I let it all in. I let it fill every nook and cranny of my brain and heart. Because, I'm scared. I am afraid of the love I might miss out on if I do not. I slide over and make room for your journey to love, and their best marriage advice, and her five tips for getting the guy of my dreams. And the mitten gets pretty darn crowded. 

And then there's that moment, where the bear sneezes and the charade is up! And the mitten is back in the hands of that little boy who so enthusiastically asked for it. And that is the moment I find myself in now.  

Thank you for your words of wisdom and your advice along the way. I do appreciate the love. But at some point I cannot keep squishing everyone else into my mitten. I ask you for advice because to be honest, I do not always trust that I can do it alone. I ask you for it because to be honest, I have no idea what I am doing. I ask you for it because to be honest, I want the hidden secret that I feel like I am so often missing. But to be honest, I asked God for these white mittens a long time ago, and I know He will not let me down. 

I could be reassured by you every day. I could follow all of your advice. I could be a modern girl dating in a modern world where girls ask guys on dates and fall in love. I could collect numbers from every single guy over 25 or hit the club every weekend. I could join Christian Mingle and chat away with random men over a computer screen. I could grab his bicep and laugh at all his jokes. I could. But I won't. No advice in the world is going to make me into someone I am not. And no blog about love, or sex, or marriage is going to make me more prepared to fall in love than I already am.  When I asked God for my white mitten, He did not say "Turn into someone else and I will give it to you". No, He said, "Trust me, trust him, and in time, maybe one day when you are walking along in the snow, that mitten will land right into your hands and you will bring it back to me with the biggest grin on your face and you will know that all along I had woven it specifically for you". 

I do not know what mitten in your life is getting crowded by the advice of a fast moving world. But I promise you this, when you ask God for a set of mittens, rest assured, even when it seems like there is no more room or no more hope, you are really only one sneeze away from holding that deepest desire in the palm of your hands. We spend so much time listening to the advice of others, what if for a moment we stopped and listened to the love of God.