Me, myself, and I.

2 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4

Me, myself, and I. Three people, all of us know, and unfortunately, three things I've been more concerned with then I should be, lately.

Isn't it so easy, in our hectic worlds, to only seek what is best for ourselves? I can't peg the exact reasons for periods of my life when I turn the attention to solely what is best for me. Or tell you why I, at certain parts of my life, feel the desire to only look out for myself. But what I can tell you is, when I look back, on those instances in my life, where selfishness was leading me, I never remember feeling happy. I don't find myself thinking those moments were good, or that I was comfortable and content. I don't ever recall my selfish ways, as actually leading me to become a more peaceful self.

Recently, I feel I have been down that path of selfishness. It's not that I was obviously choosing myself over others or intentionally trying to cause harm, but my goals when you broke them down, were about me.

As the weekend approached I found myself just trying to hold on for dear life. My calendar was booked for days. I didn't see a quiet moment coming, or the chance to sleep in, or a moment to do just whatever my little heart desired anywhere on the horizon. Sure, I had made these commitments with the desire to do them, but now as I looked at the schedule in front of me I started to get annoyed. When was I going to have some free time? When would I catch up on my sleep? When was I going to get the things I thought I needed? Realizing this, I was resentful of these things that would be consuming my time. Secretly, I wished for a cancelled plan that would allow me some time to just be comfortable and at home, most likely doing nothing productive. But the time arrived, before sunrise on Saturday, that my alarm went off and I slowly rolled out of bed. I dragged myself along as I got ready and dreaded what lied ahead of me.

But as Im sure many of you who know the love of God are not surprised, I woke up on Saturday, and dragged myself to the beginning of a beautiful weekend. And the weekend was beautiful, not because it revolved around my world or my needs or my wants. It was beautiful because God gave me a chance to serve others. He gave me the chance to discover myself and my needs not through the seeking of them, but through my ability to fulfill the needs of others. I opened my heart, and God flooded in. He called me to love. He asked me to let go of the selfishness and the desire to do what worked only for "Danielle". He showed me a renewed faith through His people. And He reminded me that my happiness, my fulfillment, and my peace do not come by making the world convenient or comfortable. I find those things my soul seeks to find, when I surrender all of me to Him, and truly embrace the love He is continuously offering.

This weekend, I discovered a full heart. When I let go of me and let in love, I let go of my selfishness. And sure, from time to time it'll slip into my life again. But now, I realize that truly, my selfish choices don't do anything for me or anyone else. They leave me hurting, and angry, and broken. They destroy the very thing they seek to fulfill. And I know that it may be easier in the short term to choose selfishly, but my heart wasn't made for that! My heart longs for compassion and my heart comes alive when I let go of myself in the name of love.

Me, myself, and I. They'll always be around, but don' t let them take up too much time. They alone won't bring you to fulfillment!